I consider myself a pretty reasonable person, but from time to time like most people I do get irritated and cranky. Usually it’s due to some odd pet peeve that I have somehow developed throughout the years. We all have them; little insignificant things that get under our skin. These minor annoyances can change our moods and thus ruin our day.
The other day I was waiting in line at my local Wal-Mart when I saw a man completely flip his lid. This guy had a serious meltdown at Wal-Mart, in front of a lot of people just because an elderly lady cut in front of him in line. He yelled some serious obscenities to this poor woman and shouted, “There’s no butting in line!” He reminded me of how my elementary school students would react when someone tried to cut in front of them in the lunch line; I half expected him to collapse onto the floor punching and kicking.
After witnessing this amazing spectacle I began to try and justify his behavior. Maybe this had been happening to him all day? Or perhaps he was bullied as a child? Or maybe he just doesn’t like little old ladies? Truth is that nothing could have justified that ridiculously childish outburst. He was pitching a fit simply because people who cut in line apparently set him off!
So, I began to wonder what would set me off like that. What would it take to make me lose my self-control and throw a major bitch fit? After much consideration and in no particular order, this is what I came up with:
- People who constantly correct you. Even though I consider myself to be fairly intelligent, (except when it comes to shoes and things that glitter or shine), I am also well aware that I am not perfect. I do acknowledge the fact that on very rare occasions I do make minor mistakes, but pointing them out every freakin’ chance you get is simply not cool. I am not talking about major blunders, I referring to minor things like accidentally mispronouncing a word when you’re speaking too fast or debating the exact shade of blue the sky happens to be. Basically people who are obnoxious, patronizing and condescending. These types of people will definitely make me lose my cool; heck I might even go as far as throwing them some hand gestures, that’s how much they irk me.
- People who talk while you’re trying to watch TV or at the movies. Picture your favorite show, which has been on hiatus for several months, imagine the anticipation you feel after waiting patiently for months to see what happens next. Finally it’s the season premier but, what should have been an awesome night turns into an anxiety ridden nightmare because the people in your household are rude as hell! I experience this quite frequently since I have three teenage sons who all of sudden become helpless babes whenever I happen to be preoccupied. This use to cause me to turn into Incredible Hulk mom, but I
noticed that they find her amusing, so now I just causally mention that I have housework that needs to be done and how I could really use their help and poof they magically disappear. It’s worse at the movies because let’s face it, a night out at the movies has gotten pretty darn expense these days. Going to the movies has become a rare treat only to have someone ruin it by constantly asking questions, maybe if you paid attention instead of talking the whole time you would know.
- When you order at a drive thru and they get your order wrong, forget something, or the food is ice cold. As a working single mom who was also a full time student, this was the worst kind of inconvenience. I had hungry kids to feed and I was extremely limited on time, so I would swing by the drive thru and pick up dinner on my way home. It wouldn’t be until after I got home and my children would assemble around the kitchen table like hungry chicks in a birds nest waiting to be fed, that I would realize that half my order was missing! I would have no time to go back and force them at gunpoint to fix my order, so I had no alternative than to use my motherly superpowers to rectify the situation, which consisted of ordering pizza and ruining my monthly budget in the process.
- People who spend way too much money on their kid’s wardrobes and not enough time on parenting. This one goes back to my days in the classroom; some of my best dressed students had no morals or manners at all. These kids would wear clothes with designer labels, but couldn’t say please and thank you and if you followed them home you would be appalled at their living conditions. Usually, it was younger parents who were more preoccupied with their child’s popularity rating than whether or not they would grow up and be productive members of society. Parents with really messed up priorities. What these parents fail to realize is that by not teaching their child discipline, they’re doing their child a huge injustice. When I had these little troublemakers in my class, I would show them extra attention and make them feel special, all the while teaching them how to be respectful. In other words being some sort of surrogate parent to these poor babies. But every time I saw one of these parents I would have to fight the urge to strap them to a chair, tape their eyelids open and force them to watch parenting tutorials, but I am certain that would have cost me my job and quite possibly my freedom.
- Mothers who give up their children but still want to claim single parent status. As a true blue bona fide single parent, this irks me to high heaven. I think this bothers me so much because I know this struggle all too well. I have made huge, insurmountable sacrifices for my children and it truly makes me angry when someone whose mother or other family member is raising their child and they assume credit for it. Uh, no I don’t think so! When my kids were younger I was in my twenties and I wanted to go out and have fun like other twenty year olds, but guess what I couldn’t! Just finding a babysitter was huge task, so don’t expect me to feel anything but contempt for you! Don’t misunderstand me, yes it was really tough and often overwhelming but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I am immensely proud of this amazing achievement, I have earned my crown, so don’t come over here and try to stand under my umbrella cause I am not Rhianna, just saying!
These were just a few of the things that would cause me to lose my southern charm and go all foamy at the mouth. Although there are many more, I still don’t think I would go as far as the guy at waiting in line did, but then again I was at Wal-Mart after all.